On Marriage and Related Relationships
Marriage was not
invented by man:
Gen 2:20-25: The institution
of marriage was created for us by God to be enjoyed while we are here on this
earth. The woman was given to Adam by God. Similarly, a man “takes a wife” by
asking her father for her. The father gives the girl to the man, just as God
gave Eve to Adam.
Gen 29: Jacob asks Laban for his daughter Rachel. Laban gives Leah and Rachel to Jacob. Note the role of Laban, Jacob, Leah and Rachel. Jacob makes the request, Laban makes the decision and determines the conditions of marriage.
Covenant relations and
One Flesh:
Gen 2:24: Marriage creates
“one flesh” between the man and the woman, and each are “separated” from their
parents.
-
He starts his own “household”.
-
A man’s household is beyond
the limits of the walls of his home. It includes and covers all those for whom
he is responsible for and has covenant relations with.
In other words, for the man,
the covenant relationship between the man’s father’s household is terminated
when the new covenant is created between the man and the woman when they become
one flesh.
Matt 19:3-6; Mark 10:6-9
Eph. 5:31
1Cor 6:16: Sexual relations
creates the covenant of marriage, e.g. our legal term “consummation of the
marriage”. Example: Darva Conger, the
bride on “Marry a Millionaire” was granted an easy divorce because their
marriage was never consummated. Note: the first time a man has sexual
relations with a woman, he creates a covenant relation with her, as they become
one flesh.
- John 4:15-19, 29, 39:
Sexual relations creates the covenant of marriage. The woman’s past
relationships are referred to as “husbands” but there is an implication that
they may have been unwed.
Malachi 2:14: You have a
covenant relationship with your wife.
1Cor. 7:14: Your children
are covered by your holiness (if you are born again) until they are
either born again or reject God. (Rom. 3:32, 3:10)
1Cor 7:36-38: A father has
the right to determine whether or not his daughter marries. This is the basis
for the tradition in which the young man who wants to court a young lady will
first approach the father to obtain permission to begin the courting process.
The relationship between the two young people will be as per the guidelines
designated by the father. (Again, Gen 29 and Laban/Jacob serve as a good
example).
In covenant relationships,
mothers do not have the same God-given responsibility for the children as the
fathers do. All members of the family are part of the father’s household. All
exist in their covenant relationship to the father. This is analogous to our
relationship with our heavenly father. There is no heavenly mother!
Women are described in the
bible in the following manner. Note that all are relevant to their covenant
relationships to a man:
Marriage is to satisfy
the longings of our body and for companionship:
Matt 22:24-33: Marriage is
not a heavenly institution. Our bodies are not the same when we get to heaven.
Mt
22:30 For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage,
but are as angels in heaven.
1Cor. 7:1-2: Sex is reserved
for marriage.
1Cor. 7:3-5: You are “one flesh”,
not singular, and have relinquished your body to your spouse in the covenant of
marriage.
Hebrews 13:4: Your marriage
should be a covenant that you honor.
Let the marriage bed be undefiled.
-
Fornication and adultery will
bring God’s judgement:
Heb 10:31 Schrecklich ist's, in die Hände des
lebendigen Gottes zu fallen.
It is a terrifying thing to
fall into the hands of the living God.
Schrecklich
= very bad, very bad; terrible
1Cor 7:6-9: Paul tells us
that it is best to serve the Lord as a single person. However, he recognizes
that marriage is appropriate for those who “do not have self control”. (c.f.
1Cor 7:24-35.)
Sex Outside of
Marriage:
1Cor 6:16, 18
1Cor 6:13: The body is the
Lord’s property.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Or don't you know that your body
is the temple of the Holy Spirit,
who lives in you and was given to you by your God?
You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price.
So you must honor God with your body.
We should treat our bodies as the holy dwelling of the Spirit of God.
Matt. 19:5; Mark 10:8-9
(becomes one flesh)
John 8:41: Sex outside of
marriage is “fornication”.
1Cor 6:9-11: Fornicators or
drunkards shall not inherit the Kingdom of God, but you may be
washed clean if you come to Christ (1Cor 6:11) !!!
Hebrews 13:4: Fornicators
will receive the judgment of God.
Gen 1:26: we are made in the
image of God. Sexual sin to our bodies is a most serious egregious to the Lord.
Husbands:
1 Peter 3:7: Be understanding, honor her. Otherwise, your
prayers will not be heard!
Ephesians 5:25: Love your
wife, even unto your own death.
Ephesians 5:33: Love your
wife as yourself.
Wives:
1 Peter 3:1-6: Be submissive, just as those who are in
Christ Jesus follow Him.
Ephesians 5:22-24: Be
subject to the husband.
Ephesians 5:33 Respect your
husband.
1Cor 7:39: You are bound for
life.
1Cor 11:3-12: Illustrates
the Christ-Man(Husband)-Woman(Wife) relationship and hierarchy.
-
In 1Cor 11:3, the Greek word
used for man is the Greek word for “husband”. The Greek word used for woman is
the Greek word for “wife”.
-
The Husband is the image of
God, and the wife is the glory of the husband
The woman belongs to
the man:
The history of the
traditions of our society shows an understanding of this principle:
-
Marriage utilizes an
engagement ring and wedding ring
-
The man gives the woman an
engagement ring to signify his covenant to her. (Note that the
man does not receive an engagement ring from the woman)
-
The man gives the woman a
wedding ring (different than the engagement ring) which signifies (to her and
the rest of society) the covenant that he has confirmed with her
o
She receives the
wedding wing on the same day they are married and become one flesh.
- Note that the practice of mutual wedding rings is one of relatively modern times. The original tradition only had the woman wearing the rings, never the man. Some couples still hold to this tradition and there is nothing wrong with this.
-
1Peter 3:6 Abraham was called
“lord” by Sarah. (c.f. Gen 18:12)
-
Gen 31:35 Rachel called her
father “lord”
Divorce:
Malachi 2:16: God hates
divorce.
Matt 5:32: Fornication of a
married person is the only acceptable reason for divorce.
Matt 19:1-12: Fornication of
a married person is the only acceptable reason for divorce.
Mark 10:1-12: Fornication of
a married person is the only acceptable reason for divorce.
Advice, Counsel, and
Principles to Live By:
- 1Cor 13: Learn the real
principle of love. Recognize that love grows with time and as infatuation
diminishes. Tolerance is required.
- Ephesians 4:26-27; 29;
31-32: Learn the principle of forgiveness. Learn to be the first one to say “I
am sorry”.
- Marriage to each other is
for life; being a parent is not! Don’t dedicate yourselves to your children
more than to your spouse.